john
Cento
Posts: 89
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Post by john on Feb 8, 2009 11:28:06 GMT 1
police are attending blackpool pleasure beach, where 20 donkeys are on strike after blackpool f.c. signed Artur Boruc. they are chanting local donkeys for local jobs
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Post by NorryC on Feb 8, 2009 12:08:01 GMT 1
What do eyemouth girls use as protection during sex? A bus shelter.
Two eyemouthians jump off a cliff, who wins? Society.
What do you call an eyemouth girl in a white tracksuit? The bride.
Two eyemouth kids in a car without any music, who is driving? The policeman.
What's the difference between an eyemouth boy and an eyemoth girl? An eyemouth girl has a higher sperm count.
What do you call a 30 year old eyemouth girl? Granny.
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john
Cento
Posts: 89
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Post by john on Feb 8, 2009 12:30:39 GMT 1
hit a nerve norry
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Post by NorryC on Feb 8, 2009 15:45:56 GMT 1
hey i slag off where i live ..look at the buckfast special pic..no offence intended
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Post by NorryC on Feb 8, 2009 15:53:53 GMT 1
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed . 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus..'
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